Sometimes circumstances bring a very bitter taste of devastation. I want to share one of those experiences with you, an experience that literally felt like a punch in the gut. It was one of those rare moments when emotional pain turned into physical pain. Even now, I’m shocked at how I reacted.
A long time ago I had two friends that were perfect lovers. They oozed love for each other. They had beautiful children. Every communication between them was loaded with admiration and enjoyment. Life was wonderful.
Then, abruptly, life changed.
Things got in the way. Ideas and feelings morphed and another beautiful marriage and family was severed. It was crushing for everyone involved. Heck, I was crushed, and I didn’t have to deal with any of the consequences.
The husband moved on and found another suitor and would enjoy time with her while in partial custody of the children. One day I saw all of them together. I saw one of these beautiful angel girls lying on the chest of this woman. She was being loved and comforted, but in my heart it felt like a betrayal. I can’t explain the emotion that I felt, but this wasn’t her mother, this was some other woman who had taken here place. It felt wrong to me. It was one of the most conflicting emotions I’ve ever felt.
As my heart broke at having to witness this all-too-familiar scene, of blended families coping with the destruction of divorce, I felt a glimpse of what it must be like as a mother, to have your family broken apart and have another woman comfort your child. If I put myself in their shoes, the thought of my wife leaving me for another man, and him tenderly holding my child…
NO. I can’t even imagine it. And a mother’s love is so much deeper.
I realize that these are emotions many families are dealing with due to divorce and separation. I don’t know how they do it. In my mind I know I should be happy that this little girl is being loved, but my heart needs convincing.
To all those who are trying to make the best of a bad situation, thank you. Thank you for the children’s sake. To those of you who can make some changes and avoid an unhappy ending, please do it! To you divorced mothers and fathers who had no other way out, I’m sorry. Only a glimpse of the pain you suffer daily has caused me to shrink.